all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
