Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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