I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
