do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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