Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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