What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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