I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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