ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
21 Dirty Secrets From Bachelor/Bachelorette Parties That Have Destroyed Marriages
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness