We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it