So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize