TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize