Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
