Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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