I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
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This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
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We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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