I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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