the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
50% drunk capacity currently
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Randomize
