Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize