All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize