yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize