For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
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They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
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Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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