Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
She said her name was "party"
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Bring me that man meat
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
