so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize