yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
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Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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