How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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