I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
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