i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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