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I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
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