we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference