Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count