Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it