She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Randomize
