Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I forgot wine drunk hurts
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
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