it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
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