He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
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