can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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