So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
