My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top