so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon