He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
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