Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Brb crying the tears of my youth
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
