tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
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Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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