lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize