I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize