i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
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it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
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