You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
you would pick up someone in the library
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
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If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
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That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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