Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
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I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
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