batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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