if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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