Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Randomize
