Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Randomize
