yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize