also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
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