I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
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