He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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