There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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