maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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